The Kampaign of Kaos Interview: Kitty and Geleynse

After many annoyances (computers and internet browsers that shut down randomly, just out of spite), here, finally, is the Kitty - Geleynse interview. We apologize that we took so long to get it up, but when one has a second email, one does not usually remember to check it.

Also, we have not gotten any response from either of the other campaigns after emailing them the interview questions, so it is doubtful we will have more interviews up any time soon.

What will the main goal of your presidency of ISLAS be?

Andre: Keep people entertained. And make sure everyone has free and easy access to the arsenal.

Kitty: I'm mostly here to entertain myself. Since I'm currently under house arrest, ISLAS is my refuge. We'll have lots of fireworks, explosions, etc. My secretary will work on bringing life back to areas that are sometimes neglected, such as Debate, School, Ars Gratia Artis, and Games.

How are you intending to achieve this goal?

A: By showing people that they obviously want to vote for us, and by blowing away the other campaigns (literally) with our awesomeness.

K: The fireworks and explosions will be achieved the normal way, of course. With explosives. ^_^ By posting more frequently on neglected boards, we will encourage greater participation among our fellow ISLASers.

What do you have to offer that no other campaign can give?

K & A: Honesty. Every other campaign offers fake promises of stability and happiness and then goes and does something like hanging everyone behind their backs. We, the Kampaign of Kaos, are completely and 100% honest about our motives. We don't sneakily kill people behind their backs while maintaining a lovely facade for the public. When we want to kill someone, we proudly tell the world while we blow that someone into smithereens.

How does ISLAS know you will keep your promises and not fall quiet a few weeks after being elected?

A: Because our only promises are to blow things up and keep people entertained. It's a pretty simple promise, and one that we can keep.

K: Exactly, Andre. In addition, my secretary has a safeguard against dying under overwhelming schoolwork. I'll make sure that whenever she looks like she's working too hard, I'll sit on her books, hide her pencils, and force her to come onto ISLAS.

In summary, why should ISLASers vote for you?

A: Because we're awesome. And we've got grenades.

K: Quite. Also, if you vote for us, you'll effectively get a Triumvirate of rulers. (Although only one of us is male...) You'll have me as your head, followed by Andre, and my scatterbrained secretary. Three working towards these goals will be much more successful than two.

This campaign looks pretty tempting, with all its promises of violence and explosives (I have a soft place in my heart for explosives and ice cream) and entertaining campaign videos, but, in all seriousness, what will explosives really do for ISLAS? Virtual explosions get boring after a while and, chaos and anarchy, however fun and exciting they may seem, don't really do much for the common good of ISLAS.

On the other hand, Kitty's campaign is one of the two most involved, most entertaining, and most promising. The question really is, who can entertain us the best, for the longest?

The ISLAS Communist Party Interview: Blake

Here is the first of what will hopefully be four interviews, this one is with Vicki Blake, the leader of the ISLAS Communist Party. I will be using the same questions for all the interviews, simply because that is easiest.

Since the ICP has a clearly humorous approach to the ISLAS presidency, we have two answers for each question. Both from Miss Blake, but one comical and the other serious. The comical will be B (for Bolshevik) and serious, V (Vicki).

What will the main goal of your presidency of ISLAS be?

B: Comrades! The main, and indeed, the only goal of the ICP is to bring revolution! Too long has the proletariat suffered under the crushing yoke of the evil bourgeois capitalists. The ICP will bring the proletariat soaring to the top. It will usher in the new age of the dictatorship of the proletariat!

V: To keep everyone as entertained as possible. Bread and circuses, and all that. What I really want is that everyone should have at least a little bit of vested interest in the forum.

How are you intending to achieve this goal?

B: We intend to achieve this goal by nothing short of a revolution. There can be no glory otherwise.

V: I hope to come up with ideas which will tantalize and excite all the different kinds of people--the writing kids, the music kids, the language kids, the artsy kids, the computer nerd kids, the math kids, etc. Some of those will be harder for me than others, but I'm hoping my worthy VP will be able to complement my deficiencies.

What do you have to offer that no other campaign can give?

B: Land! Peace! Bread!

V: If I told you, I would have to kill you. But for serious, I think my favorite thing about this campaign is something we haven't done, and if I mention it, we will have done it. You see my dilemma?

How does ISLAS know you will keep your promises and not fall quiet a few weeks after being elected?

B: Oh, comrade, how could you ask such a sad question? The people of ISLAS are like my dear dear children. Would a mother forget her child? Nay! And how much less could a glorious revolutionary leader forget her people!

V: Because I need this little world as a stress reliever. *raises ears*

In summary, why should ISLASers vote for you?

B: ISLASers should vote for me because the ICP is the party of glorious revolution! We who stand this day together shall be forever sung in the great ballads of history! We shall never be forgotten!

V: What I want from ISLAS is that the people on it should be real friends. I think this comes about in two ways: friendly competition and common goals. I hope to provide things (my little Half & Half competition is a preliminary attempt) that we can actually do together that involve more than just typing words (Okay, well, I guess writing is just typing words. Hopefully future things will be better). Even if I'm not elected, I'll implement whatever schemes come to my brain, but it would be more fun to be president. I like power, you know. *smiles*

Finishing words?

B: All power to the Soviets!

V: I would like to say two things: First, don't ever be offended if I call you guys "kids". I call everyone kids. Mark and Virginia, the kids in my Yiddish class (except I call them kinderlech, because that's the Yiddish word), myself, my truck, etc. Second: It's really hard to turn off the ridiculous rhetoric I've employed for my Bolshevik persona. It's great. *grins*

First off, I (Vil) would like to say, Blake has a very friendly air throughout this interview, which helps us view her as having our best interests in view. Her goal in being elected, personally, I think is top par. It is what I look for in an ISLAS ruler. If they cannot entertain and help keep the forum alive, what is their worth?

Of course, those with more serious views in hand may not like that this campaign jokingly bases itself upon the communists. I say, if the campaign cannot take itself as a joke, it is not going to be able to take the pressure put upon an ISLAS president.

I think I will have a hard time finding solid anti-campaign facts (or even mild complaints) for the campaigns since I honestly think that this year has an overflow of wonderfully light and humorous presidential candidates. Hurrah for non-stressful election years. Keep it up, ISLASers.

Back for the 2010 Election Season!

Yes, we are back. We haven't been keeping up with current events because, frankly, not that much has happened (at least in comparison to last election), and we've been a little busy.

Anyhow, we have returned to bring you the juicy scoop of sherbet that's being served this election. We're going to bring you up to date with the campaigns and, hopefully, get you some delicious interviews with the candidates.

We're very glad to be here again, bringing you the exciting articles and sharp, witty comments we did last year.

As always, if you want to have a say, email us at theislasscoop@gmail.com. We will post any articles that we think are fit and try to reply as promptly as possible.