Certain sources that shall remain unnamed have brought to our attention that the colorful and eccentric Miss Starrett has vanished from the world as we know it.
“She was abducted by aliens,” said her alarmed dear friend, Miss Lyss. She then went back on her statement, adding that, since another friend of hers was an alien, she could say no more on the matter.
When questioned, Miss Regina Bertilson, the self-proclaimed 'alien' said, “Considering the timing of her disappearance, I expect Erin has become a victim of the Evil Mother and School conspiracies. I am not, in any way, involved in the matter. If she was abducted by aliens, it was definitely an evil branch, not from Nimba Jimba.”
Our research proves that Miss Starrett has been missing for at least a month, and alarm grows in those groups of ISLAS which knew the lovely girl. “If Erin has been kidnapped by aliens, my presidency will bring her to justice,” exclaimed Noah Bertilson, one of the vice-presidential candidates running for office. "Vote Bertilson!" he added, with fervor.
We offer our sincere sympathy to all those who knew Miss Starrett, and extend our wishes that she may be found and returned to her rightful home as soon as possible.
2 comments:
*Ahem* As a stickler for these things, I just wanted to inform you, my dear Tort, that there is no Bertilson campaign. It's the de Salsa-Bertilson campaign (de Salsa apparently being the MP3 player). Get your facts correct, and you will rise to the level of the New York Times.
It's 'cause I went and met her. It rocked. We went around taking pictures of mannequins in the mall, and in fact, I have a picture of the one she married. His name was William. I married a headless one. We tried on rings, too. Oh, and big bags, and huge sunglasses (that took up over half of my head). Anyway.
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