Apology

The Scoop would like to apologize for the lack of interviews (and articles of any kind), and thereby pushing the election further and further away. We are quite busy with non-Scoop related activities (read: school) and will try to get the one remaining interview up as soon as possible.

Interview: Taylor-Jaramillo Campaign

The interview of the Taylor-Jaramillo campaign by Reporter Blake, editing and summary by Vilbert Pear.

EB: What do you intend to do when you're President?

LT: We've been living in minor seconds for too long. I intend to change those minor seconds to major seconds, if not major thirds. If people can't tell the difference, there's always the guillotine.

EB: What are some of your solid objective goals for Islas?

JJ: For Taylor-Jaramillo, one big objective could perhaps be to engage newer ISLASers and ones that don’t talk very much to be more involved and make everything more exciting…. To get more people into the Debate, and other forums, to revive old games like Mafia and encourage the virtual forum, that has gone pretty much dead. Nick was the ideal campaign manager because he could reach out to newcomers better than any of us, being a new comer himself. And to invite new comers!! Big objective! Get a thriving ISLAS! Yay!

EB: How will these goals affect us as Islasers?

LT: Change the forum for the better!

EB: Why does having a good sense of music and imposing it upon others make you the best Islasian president?

LT: We never transpose, dispose, or anything of the sort. We have the esteemed recommendation of the Ahern administration for our musical tastes.

EB: Why should we vote for you?

LT & JJ: Taylor and Jaramillo both have come from a prestigious line of family members that have taken online school thus having the best experience to handle foreign policies, unpleasant diplomacy, and executions - with tact. The Taylor and Jaramillo families (as well as the Adams family) are of the finest, and some of the oldest families from the early days of ISLAS.

Justin Jaramillo has been hailed as, "The Sarah Palin of ISLAS" (Hunter Regetin). The infamous bandit, Rubby Ducky, is supporting us, unlike TBoD, Ringo, or Rufus - it's actually worth a real vote!

We're the athetic ticket! Taylor is a great horse-rider, figure skate, whilst Jaramillo is the world's best soccer-baseball player!

Taylor-Jaramillo has strong beliefs - they are consistently on the debte thread (when do you ever see the G-B campaign on the debate thread?).

Taylor can weave through many hard times - she's plenty short, while Jaramillo can go over the heads over all oppenents (he's over six feet tall!).

We’re combining new ISLASers (Our campaign manager is super new) and with old ISLASers thus combing every element of ISLAS there is to offer and bringing greater unity and blah blah blah!

We also like to set new records. We have set the newest record with having a campaign manager with one post!

Well, we have the niceness of the Hilton campaign, the craziness of the Hunter campaign, the salsiness of the MP3-Bertilson campaign, the nerdiness of the Mark campaign, and the insanity of the Geleysne campaign! We have it all! And we’re willing to distribute some of it to our constituents.

Overall, Taylor-Jaramillo is right ticket.

Vote Taylor-Jaramillo 09. Creepy, evil, goatie, and PROKOFIEV!

Are these numerous points enough to convince the ISLAS populace? Does a good taste in music, announced by our former president, make them worth voting for? It is up to you, my readers, to decide, and to vote. We have one more interview to edit and post and then the polls will be up. Mr. DenHoed refused to be interviewed by an anonymous person, which severely hinders any chance of a DenHoed-DenHoed campaign interview being posted. If you want an interview from him, write emails to him and complain.

Scandal in Samantha's Suicide?

An article from an anonymous author:

This morning, ISLASers woke to see the hideous spectacle of Samantha Jordan impaled on a 40' long spike. While other reporters ran hither and thither searching for someone to interview, we went to the core of the matter. We found Death not far from the scene of death. But when asked about the incident, all he said was NO COMMENT. So we went to the next best source.

'The Department of Undead Welfare is very interested in Samantha's death," said department head Nathaniel Spear as we sat in his office. "We're hoping she comes back to help the cause of ghost's rights. The undead population of ISLAS seems to be suffering of bodily reanimation, making us a minority once more.'

'How bad is the undead situation?' I asked.

'Oh, terrible. The living are prejudiced, some ghosts want their bodies back in working order, and others just want to kill everyone else. It's all the department can do to stop them.'

'Do you think that the death of Samantha Jordan was in this last category?'

Mr. Spear looked uncomfortable as I asked this question. 'Investigations are continuing,' he said shortly.

When asked if he would want to change the minority status of the undead population, he glared at me and made no comment.

The interview ended soon afterward, and we made our way back to headquarters, our heads full of what we had just heard. Was this really only a suicide, or is there something worse involved? Could this have been undead terrorist action, or perhaps a small glimpse of a dark political move to give undead majority? Will we all be murdered in our beds? Who can tell? We can't, but there is definitely more here than meets the eye.

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Please email theislasscoop@gmail.com to send articles of all sorts. If we deem them respectable and worthy, they will be posted. You have the option of being published anonymously, or with your name attached to the article. Alternately, you may email your article to Reporter Blake and she will send it on to headquarters.

Also, we are working on the last campaign interviews, though certain candidates are being unhelpful. We will, with cooperation, have posted all the interviews by this weekend. We apologize for any impatience we have caused. It being the school year has not helped our efforts to give every candidate and equal chance to dazzle the world of ISLAS.