Saturday, October 5, 2013
Nostalgia
There are days I remember the times I reported the ISLAS happenings for you all. Those are good days. And today I decided to reread the stories. I began to remember even more. How much fun they were to write (try being an anonymous mock-reporter, it is a BLAST), how ridiculous the elections were, how mock-serious we were about completely and utterly preposterous things and how incredibly fun that was...
But, today, reader, is the day I reveal who was behind it all. You may have guessed (and, if so, I sadly am not as clever as I believed myself to be, but I still am pretty clever), but now you will know.
The Scoop began as an effort of the Nimba Jimbian (also known as Regina). As one who had read and very much enjoyed all the news-y efforts of other ISLAS-ers, I thought, 'Hey, I should do my own!' And the thought of anonymous reporting just tickled me, so I did it.
Then, and I don't remember the exact circumstances, I asked Erin (of the B sort) to aid and abet my fabulous schemings. She agreed, and together we made ISLAS history (or so I would like to believe).
Oh, nostalgia... Re-reading the articles on this blog just reminds me how much I loved it. (I'm also impressed by my writing. Wow, self!) Thanks for being great, reader. If I never mentioned you in a story, I apologize. Have a great life, reader. You are doing great things and you will do even more. Keep being fantastic.
Here ends the last post of the wonderful Scoop.
- The Nimba Jimbian
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Election Season '11
So far there has been only one campaign begun, that of Kitty and Mr. Geleynse, yet again. There were complaints about the repetition of old campaigns, albeit only by one ISLASer.
Personally, the journalists at the Scoop are hoping that there will be some excitement this year. The best kind of story is an exciting one. Hopefully the candidates will take note and come up with a few new tricks.
Here's to a new year on ISLAS!
If you have something you would like us to post or have information or anything you think we may be interested in, feel free to send it to theislasscoop@gmail.com. Please also comment on the forum so we have some notification and actually remember to check the Scoop's email. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Monday, June 21, 2010
The Kampaign of Kaos Interview: Kitty and Geleynse
What will the main goal of your presidency of ISLAS be?
Andre: Keep people entertained. And make sure everyone has free and easy access to the arsenal.
Kitty: I'm mostly here to entertain myself. Since I'm currently under house arrest, ISLAS is my refuge. We'll have lots of fireworks, explosions, etc. My secretary will work on bringing life back to areas that are sometimes neglected, such as Debate, School, Ars Gratia Artis, and Games.
How are you intending to achieve this goal?
A: By showing people that they obviously want to vote for us, and by blowing away the other campaigns (literally) with our awesomeness.
K: The fireworks and explosions will be achieved the normal way, of course. With explosives. ^_^ By posting more frequently on neglected boards, we will encourage greater participation among our fellow ISLASers.
What do you have to offer that no other campaign can give?
K & A: Honesty. Every other campaign offers fake promises of stability and happiness and then goes and does something like hanging everyone behind their backs. We, the Kampaign of Kaos, are completely and 100% honest about our motives. We don't sneakily kill people behind their backs while maintaining a lovely facade for the public. When we want to kill someone, we proudly tell the world while we blow that someone into smithereens.
How does ISLAS know you will keep your promises and not fall quiet a few weeks after being elected?
A: Because our only promises are to blow things up and keep people entertained. It's a pretty simple promise, and one that we can keep.
K: Exactly, Andre. In addition, my secretary has a safeguard against dying under overwhelming schoolwork. I'll make sure that whenever she looks like she's working too hard, I'll sit on her books, hide her pencils, and force her to come onto ISLAS.
In summary, why should ISLASers vote for you?
A: Because we're awesome. And we've got grenades.
K: Quite. Also, if you vote for us, you'll effectively get a Triumvirate of rulers. (Although only one of us is male...) You'll have me as your head, followed by Andre, and my scatterbrained secretary. Three working towards these goals will be much more successful than two.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
The ISLAS Communist Party Interview: Blake
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Back for the 2010 Election Season!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Comment Problems
A Letter to the People of ISLAS
Is there a way to solve this? Why are we all so tense and angry?
I believe there are many contributing factors. For instance, the elections have run on for more than six months, if you count the beginning of the summer. If not, counting from August they have lasted four months. This is much more time than we need. In all this time, we have built up too much tension from waiting to find out who will be the winner. We get too wound up in our personal campaigns that we fight against every little accusation and argue over petty differences.
I suggest that in the future we make a decision to keep the election, campaigning and poll time, down to one month. Starting, perhaps, in the middle of July so the elections do not run on into the school year, and end in the middle or near end of August. That way we would not have time to build up such strong and unbudging alliances.
All this time we have had has given us tension which makes us even more determined to have our side win; we will do almost anything. I have heard rumors of bribery going on, and rumors of some accepting those bribes, which infuriates me. This just goes to show how strongly engrossed I am. I am sure many, if not all, of you are as thoroughly entwined.
Making sure future elections are short will help cut down the probability of the tensions and alliances getting so strong that we all are fighting tooth and nail for our spot at the top.
To finish off, I would like to ask, what are the ISLAS elections about? Where are we planning to go with this? Where are we planning to stop? Is it a full fledged democracy? Shall we hold elections for the presidents, and then have regional senators? What about governors? Or states? Where does this all end?
I believe, in the beginning, it was for entertainment that we began the elections. I remember hearing, “Well, this could be fun, so let's try it!” Is anyone having fun? We have lost the vital element of humor.
The road we are heading down is not one that is pleasant. If things continue the way they are going, the winning side is going to be ruling over a very sore opposing side. I have heard many say that, if the other side wins, they may not want to continue frequenting ISLAS. Personally, even though I agree, I think this is a rather extreme measure. Is there not some way to overcome this? Was there not a day where we all had a fabulous time watching the hilarious escapades of the president?
Why is it everyone refers to Mr. John Ahern, our first president, as an example of what we do not want? Is he not exactly what we do want? Even those who sought to overthrow him, even those who got executed, admit in secret that he was a very amusing president. He supplied us with self deprecating videos and took all the criticism with much good humor. Can any of the current candidates hold that place with such flamboyant, foppish jocularity?
I suggest we all join together, this year, to place him again on his well deserved throne. Next year we can do this over again, with the newly gained experience, and, hopefully, learn from our many mistakes. Mr. Ahern can join us together, amuse us, kill us off, once again, one by one. I ask you, would you say, if you were asked how he did, and you replied honestly and anonymously, he was a cruel tyrant who caused us all to be more angry than we are today? I will willingly admit he was not, even if, during his reign, I was adamantly fighting him. He set a high standard for future ISLAS presidents, which I am quite willing to believe none can break.
Please, listen to my recommendations. We could rid ourselves of these petty squabbles and return to our hilarious, mostly inane chatterings. Do you think finishing this election will solve the problems we have? Almost all losers are bad losers, myself most certainly included. If your side loses, how will you feel?
Consider my warnings, fellow ISLAS-ers.
Fervently,
Anonymous